Thursday, August 4, 2011

The Most Ridiculous Thing I Have Ever Done

When I was younger, I had a big problem when it came to obsessively playing video games that weren't even challenging. I would play seasons of Madden without losing a single game. I would play tennis tournaments without losing a single point. I did this over and over again.

I also had a problem when it came to writing down/keeping stats on all of the games I played, which brings me to my most ridiculous case of wasted time on a video game.

The game was Tony LaRussa's Ultimate Baseball for MS-DOS. The year was 1990-something. I created a "dream team" (yes, Mickey Morandini was on my dream team) and decided I would try to score as many runs as I possibly could, no matter how long it took.

So I turned on the computer, entered the proper DOS commands, and started clacking away at the keyboard.

Four hours and five minutes later, I was done. "Dan's Team" had beaten "New York A" by a score of 291-0. With Randy Johnson as my pitcher, I struck out all 27 batters I faced. I had 261 hits, 40 of which were home runs. I walked 35 times. The box score was a sight to behold.

And luckily for you, I have saved it for all of these years. So here is the sight. Marvel at it. Cherish it. Behold it.

5 comments:

  1. rat tail, marino jersey, waffle ice cream sandwich in one hand, sitting at the computer.

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  2. Seriously, this is the MOST ridiculous thing? Not oiling yourself up for the slip n slide, not shaving your eyebrows off, not requesting that we all be cool and call you Elvis, not spraying Barbie hairspray in your sister's eye or any of the tens of thousands of other ridiculous things?

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  3. Aaaand...thank you for that, Roxanne.

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  4. Yours is both an inspirational and a cautionary tale.

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  5. what the hell are yall tlkin bout

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